Ex- England captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-degenerating condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the illness.
"There's a certain facing the future and not wanting to completely absorb that at the present time," he commented.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's heading. We understand that. But there is certainly a hesitation to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, says rather he feels "calm" as he focuses on his immediate health, his family and making preparations for when the illness progresses.
"Perhaps that's surprise or possibly I process things uniquely, and when I have the details, it's easier," he continued.
Initial Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after noticing some weakness in his shoulder while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the issue, a number of scans indicated neural pathways in his central nervous system had been affected by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately extremely moved about it, but it's so strange because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't sense sick. I don't feel unwell
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have some muscle wasting in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I remain competent to accomplishing whatever I want. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is possible."
Condition Progression
MND can advance rapidly.
According to the charity MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a third of people within a twelve months and above half within two years of diagnosis, as ingestion and breathing become more difficult.
Medical care can only retard decline.
"It's not me that I am upset for," commented an affected Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Household Consequences
Talking from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he mentioned telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, commenting: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two brilliant boys and that was quite devastating," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced removing the moisture off our faces, which was quite silly."
Moody said the priority was remaining in the present.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be so intensely directed on just embracing and appreciating everything now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been very blessed that the sole decision I made when I left playing was to devote as much period with the kids as feasible. We don't get those times back."
Sportsman Association
Top-level sportspeople are disproportionately impacted by MND, with research proposing the prevalence of the disease is up to six times higher than in the general population.
It is believed that by limiting the air available and producing injury to motor neurone cells, regular, strenuous exercise can initiate the condition in those inherently predisposed.
Rugby Career
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his courageous, unwavering method to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once sparked a workout scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a tackle pad and started engaging in collisions.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the throw-in in the crucial moment of play, establishing a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning field goal.
Support Network
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who led England to that victory, and a couple of other previous team-mates about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There will be a moment when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that type of love and recognition that people are available is the crucial thing," he stated.
"Rugby is such a great community.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to label your passion your profession, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so long a duration with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will wish to support in any way they can and I await having those discussions."
